When Hubby Helps, I Have to Keep Quiet

 I am thankful that my husband helps around the house. He does the dishes after dinner most nights. I then, of course, have to complete doing the dishes because there are things he won’t do (e.g. certain pots, the vegetable steamer, the blender, my salad spinner, etc.) The table may or may not be wiped. The dishwasher is sometimes turned on when there are only 3 glasses on one shelf. The dishwasher is sometimes not turned on when it is completely packed and there are no spoons or knives left in the drawer. I do not see any rhyme or reason to what is and is not done.

Why is it that my husband feels perfectly justified in criticizing (not critiquing, criticizing) things I do (e.g. “what made you think this recipe would taste good?”) yet when I offer one suggestion (“honey, when the dishwasher has room in it, don’t start it so I can put the breakfast dishes in tomorrow and start it in the morning”) he flies off the handle, saying “Oh, if you can do it better, then it’s up to you. I’m not going to deal with this.” (I thought we were talking about dishes, not something that needs to be “dealt” with). Why do I have to accept things being done incorrectly just for the sake of his ego? I am not a controlling person. I am glad that he is helping, but is having things done incorrectly( not differently, incorrectly) the price I have to pay? He is only too specific on how he wants things done and I don’t get all bent out of shape when he makes a simple request. What’s the deal? We’re talking household tasks, not personal characteristics, nothing to get upset about!

S-)