Sunday, February 13, 2011

Please Don't Ask To See My FOID Card

It could be an honest mistake, but it feels more like a complete betrayal. One of those things that you want to shake your husband and ask, “Do you have any idea what makes me tick?”. (Apparently not, even though he effortlessly ticks me off!) Let me back up a little. We had decided to exercise our civil rights and apply for FOID cards. I was interested, but, left to my own devices, I might never have done it. While checking off our “things I want to do before I am too old” list we both agreed that this is something we could and should do. He took the lead and went online to apply and fill out the forms for both of us. A few weeks later, my card arrives, complete with a horrible picture from my drivers license. There, below the ugly picture, are my physical characteristics: hair color, eye color, weight…but, wait a minute!!! He put my ACTUAL weight down. I can’t even believe I am seeing those numbers written right below my name. Who does that? It doesn’t matter that I have been trying to lose ten pounds for my entire adult life, it doesn’t matter that you have to sign the form asserting that all the information is true. It should matter that I have recently lost 11 pounds and am continuing to lose. What would possibly possess him to put down my actual weight? Why didn’t he ask me first? When I asked him what he was thinking, he says, “Well, isn’t it right?” I’m flabbergasted. How can he not see that the accuracy of the number is completely not the point. Somehow, however, he doesn’t notice the hipocracy when he shaves off 5 pounds from his actual vs. reported weight. What about my 5 mercy pounds?
Lucky for me, this card is good for 10 years. Yippee!


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