Monday, April 4, 2011

When Hubby Helps, I Have to Keep Quiet

 I am thankful that my husband helps around the house. He does the dishes after dinner most nights. I then, of course, have to complete doing the dishes because there are things he won’t do (e.g. certain pots, the vegetable steamer, the blender, my salad spinner, etc.) The table may or may not be wiped. The dishwasher is sometimes turned on when there are only 3 glasses on one shelf. The dishwasher is sometimes not turned on when it is completely packed and there are no spoons or knives left in the drawer. I do not see any rhyme or reason to what is and is not done.

Why is it that my husband feels perfectly justified in criticizing (not critiquing, criticizing) things I do (e.g. “what made you think this recipe would taste good?”) yet when I offer one suggestion (“honey, when the dishwasher has room in it, don’t start it so I can put the breakfast dishes in tomorrow and start it in the morning”) he flies off the handle, saying “Oh, if you can do it better, then it’s up to you. I’m not going to deal with this.” (I thought we were talking about dishes, not something that needs to be “dealt” with). Why do I have to accept things being done incorrectly just for the sake of his ego? I am not a controlling person. I am glad that he is helping, but is having things done incorrectly( not differently, incorrectly) the price I have to pay? He is only too specific on how he wants things done and I don’t get all bent out of shape when he makes a simple request. What’s the deal? We’re talking household tasks, not personal characteristics, nothing to get upset about!

S-)

6 comments:

  1. Swooping in from Twitter, thanks for the follow. (-:
    OK, so this is probably sexist but I think men have a harder time taking criticism than women do. They all seem to do this!

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  2. Thank you, too! Sexist or not, I think you are absolutely right in most cases! Here included! lol

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  3. I have had similar experiences with my husband and its GOT to be an ego thing... OR... they are always trying to get out of it so if they throw a big enough fit about it, maybe we won't "make" them do it anymore? Not really sure, but to give criticism is to risk near death! LoL! ;)

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  4. Belle, I couldn't agree with you more!

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  5. Well, I can't say that my hubby criticizes me at all, bc he doesn't. But, I definitely know the frustration of things being done incorrectly when he's "helping". I have had to take a step back lately & decide that while I would have done something completely differently, he was just trying to help. Some days are easier for me to accept this mantra than others. I think I'd rather have some help than none at all!

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  6. Amanda - My girlfriend wrote this post, but you have me laughing with "the frustration of things being done incorrectly". My hubby thinks his way is just fine, when lots of times I would do it differently. I have learned to relax a bit on the "how" and just be glad that it is being done. For instance, he helps with laundry, but pants are folded back pocket to back pocket... who DOES that? lol

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