I have a number of years experience in special education and have worked with hundreds of different kids with a multitude of issues. There is a lot I don't know, but I have an educated and experienced point of view. With that being said, I would not tell someone that I think their child has issues, even if it is obvious to me, unless they specifically asked my opinion, and even then I would be extremely cautious with what I said. This becomes more challenging when it is the child of a close relative.
I babysat for this relative who has a 3 & 5 year old. I have been concerned about the developmental skills of the 5 year old since he was 18 months old and have kindly and lovingly expressed my concerns on a number of occasions. This was not received well at all. I, therefore, have not said anything for over one year. Now, however, the goofy dad starts telling me how he's concerned about the 3 year old because she is giving him a hard time with everything (ie. typical three-year-old testing & pushing limits). He doesn't understand because the older child was so "easy to deal with". ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! The older child threw tantrums any time he was in a new situation. He threw tantrums when we sang happy birthday at parties because it was too loud. He refuses to use the toilet anywhere but at his house. He only eats 5 foods. This is the easy-going child??? How can a parent be so blinded and in such denial!!! How can some people's view of reality be so cockamamie?
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