Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Words That I Have An Opinion About For No Particular Reason

Every now and then, I hear someone say something or read a word that for some unknown reason gives me a response that is totally unrelated to the word. Reading Blogs, Twitter and Facebook doesn't help me quell this response! Everyone wants to get their words out and sometimes the words they choose speak louder to me than their whole thoughts. Here is a list of just some of those words and my reaction to them.

• Gah! - Not really a word, but for some reason, I find to be funny.
• Methinks - This word makes me crazy. It's supposed to be 2 separate words! Plus, it sounds like I should be wearing a powdered wig when I say it.
• Scrod - Reminds me of "scrotum". Hate this word and I will never eat scrod. Change the name of the fish and I might consider it.
• Slacks - Makes me laugh. It would be a word my grandma would say. Does anyone under the age of 50 say "slacks" anymore? If you do, please, say "dress pants" instead or else risk me laughing at you when you say it.
• Panties - I find this word irritating... wearing them sometimes is too, especially when they get in a bunch.
• Your - Makes me crazy when people really mean you're.
• Uvula - LOVE this word. People always think I'm saying Vulva. LOL
• Moist - I like saying it because people always react with a snicker.
• Snicker - Really? Did I just say that? I am embarrassed that I use that word unless I'm talking about a candy.
• Pamphlet - Awkward to say and to spell. When someone offers me a pamphlet, I feel like someone is trying to give me medical information on some embarrassing topic and they don't want to tell me directly.
• Feminine Hygiene - Could this illicit any stronger thoughts of women needing to go down there to scrub and deodorize? Seriously, it's not really an issue for most women. Thanks for making men think we all would smell like fish every day if it weren't for the daily maintenance we all must be doing.
• Crotchety - Must only be used when referring to a crabby old man.  Good idea old dude, wear boxers to give you some more room. While you're at it, make sure you hike the boxers up above your waist band and tuck your shirt into them.
• Prophylactic - I would never say this word unless I was speaking to a doctor and didn't want to sound like an idiot. Give me a slang term for it over the formal word any day.
• Penis - OK so this is really my son's word. He has told me I can't say it. I can call it ANYTHING else. He squirms if I say it. He laughs if I use any other slang.
• Feces - This is a word you hear your grandmother or doctor say. I would rather call it any of its slang including poop or poo than say feces. When I hear the word "feces" I get the image of monkeys slinging it.
• Snarky - Love the word, and I'm guilty of being snarky from time to time. It also sounds much better than being called a bitch.
• Slore - It's not a real world, but it is a combo of slut and whore. Some how sounds worse than either one. I know a few women that it fits!
• Regurgitate - Again, another word I would only use while speaking with a doctor. Just say "puke" and get it over with in 1 syllable. Vomit is acceptable too, if you feel like using up another syllable.
• Phlegm - I can picture it and it grosses me out. Plus, WHO spells a word like that? Too many unnecessary letters. 
• Expectorate - Similar to my thoughts on Phlegm. Just say "spit" it doesn't sound as gross.
• Lover - I can't hear this word without thinking about the funny SNL skits with the couple that can't keep their hands off of each other. I hear it exactly how they say it too: Lovaar...
• WYSIWYG (wizzywig) - Is it really necessary to make an acronym for "what you see is what you get"? Can you sound any more nerdy throwing that un-word around?
• Shriek - Spelled too close to "Shrek" plus I want to spell it shreak.
• BOGO - It's 50% off people! Do we REALLY need a word for it?
• Gadzooks - Long abandoned and rightfully so, unless you say it and are looking for a laugh.
• Ginormous - Also not a real world. Combo of gigantic and enormous. Love when my kids say this!

So now it's your turn to tell me what words I missed. What words do you love or hate?