Monday Vent - Annoying Brother

It's Monday. It's late. This post is late. I'm tired. I'm finally ready to vent. Honestly, some days it is SO easy for me to vent, and other days, it is much more difficult. I usually like trying to look at the glass half full. If I start looking at the glass half empty, I tend to get stuck in a rut of viewing everything that way. I have been pretty up beat this past week, so this morning, nothing came to mind when I needed to write the post. However, much can happen in a day, and here I am at the end of the day, ready to vent.

This vent is not new for me, nor is it as rage filled as it has been on other days. In fact, I am a bit rational about it right now. I realize that, for the rest of my life, I will have to live with the fact that my brother will always say things in an incredibly condescending and insulting way and my mom will always defend him. I know they love me and have no idea how their actions affect me. If I thought that they were intentionally hurtful, my attitude would be very different. They just don't get it. I've tried bringing it to their attention. I really have. They just think I'm too sensitive, crabby, misunderstood them, etc. Some days it's more difficult for me to be rational. Thankfully, today I am able to just see it as it is. It is just the way it is. It will never change. Moving on.

Now it's your turn. Do you have a vent to share? Share it and move on.

=J

My Lame Father's Day Effort

Over the years, I have complained too many times about the time that my husband bought me flowers for Mother's Day, at the grocery store, near the gym, on his way home from working out.  Or the time, that I got flowers, from the same place with the comment "I would have been able to get you a gift, but we did that family thing yesterday." (Insert eye roll here.) So yes, my husband hasn't really blown me away in the Mother's Day arena, but over the years, I have come to accept that, that is just him. It doesn't mean I'm not appreciated. It doesn't mean I'm not loved. He does plenty every day to let me know those things. Also, after being married as long as we have, we have both mellowed a bit, become more accepting of each other and far less critical.

This year, for Mother's Day, I told my husband "Don't get me anything." I meant it. He found time to shop and bought me a pair of capri pants and a cool t-shirt. It was sweet and unnecessary, AND the wrong sizes (admittedly, I have put on a few pounds). Luckily, he still knew where the receipt was and I was able to exchange the shirt and ultimately return the capris.

Which brings me to this Father's Day. My husband told me "Don't get me anything." He meant it. I was OK with it too. I picked out a funny card for him from the kids and checked Father's Day off my list. Until Saturday night, when my kids were getting into bed, and with panicked looks on their faces asked "What did we get Dad for Father's Day?" When I told them "nothing" they replied with "We HAVE to give him SOMETHING!" Uggg... kick me in the gut. Bad, bad, unthoughtful mom. I asked them for ideas, and of course they had none. Now my brain kicks into overdrive. "Are the kids little enough to make some cute little craft and have him be overwhelmed with it?" No, at this point, Dad will know I forced 2 sleepy kids to do a crappy art project when they are capable of creating something beautiful if given enough time. Then, I remembered that my husband was planning on working out early in the morning. I should be able to go pick up something when the stores open and get back home before him.  As it turned out, he slept in. I tip-toed out of the house and started driving looking for anything open besides a Walgreen's (which BTW is where I purchased his "Perfect Push-Up Equipment: As Seen On TV" the day before Father's Day last year). I ended up finding him 2 pairs of work-out shorts. OK, truthfully, I purchased 4 pair, 2 in 1 size and 2 in a larger size because I wasn't really sure what size he wore. So, we are even on the wrong size thing. To cover up for my last minute shopping, I also picked up McDonald's breakfast for everyone on the way home. We threw Dad's on a breakfast tray and carried it upstairs to him. Distracted by breakfast, I quickly threw the shorts (guessed right with the smaller size) in a gift bag with some tissue and "ta-daa!" the perfect Father's Day morning. As he opened the package, he said "I thought I wasn't supposed to get anything." Then he immediately put on a pair.

Come lunch time, my husband automatically made lunch for us all, like he always does. And at dinner, when I offered to make something (meaning = order pizza), he only wanted leftovers from lunch. I spoiled him a bit more and reheated it for him (lol).

What I took from today is that:
I have no room to complain about lack of effort on my husband's part.
I have thoughtful kids.
My husband and I have a good thing going.

=J

Sometimes It's Difficult To Face Change

I make what I consider to be bold moves, and then I get scared and start backing away. This happens even when the choices appear to be good and are bringing about good results. I am so afraid to change the status quo sometimes. I think that there will be some type of backlash if I reach beyond what I am currently doing. It may show that I don’t fully appreciate all that I have. If I actually dare to try for something else, am I showing God that I ‘m not completely grateful for everything that I already have. I think about the bible story of the talents. I fully empathize with the servant who buried his talents in the ground. He didn’t want to lose them. He didn’t have the confidence that he could do something more with it. He thought the responsible thing to do was to keep it safe. I always make my decisions based on what is “responsible”. I worry that someone (specifically my mother) might think that I am being irresponsible. I know that’s understandable at 20, but at 42 it starts to sound like I need a therapist.

S-)